I didn't realise until today, upon checking out the vegan blog posts of somebody else and clicking 'home' which took me to the home page where there were two blog entries already, that I'd had such plans! I'm not even sure why I didn't continue. Probably easily distracted..
And a lot has happened since then, I wouldn't even know how to start collating all the information I've gathered, gleamed and grown through. I think writing a daily/regular blog of thoughts might have even helped at parts of my life as my laptop and home were littered with late-night typing and frantic scribbles, but with so many options of ways to document ones life the choices becoming overwhelming, or you start on one website, trial another and ultimately end up not doing any of them. Instagram is probably the best platform for reaching out to people, as everybody loves pictures with small explanations. And with everybody doing the same things out there it's hard to come up with a new concept that anyone would be interested in,
But I guess my goal is the same; to help people. In whatever shape or form, and whether it's many or few. I just wanted to spread experiences and possibly help to people that are struggling and also to extend that help beyond people and for animals too. I'm currently writing this from a cat rescue shelter located in Inawashiro (Fukushima prefecture; and no, I'm not about to become irradiated).
Before that.. I lived briefly in China, came home and moved into a place by myself with my cat Audrey, worked in a High-raw Organic Vegan cafe, started a qualification in complementary therapies, travelled to Vietnam, got a job in a bar, started to become unhappy, completely lost it again, had therapy, started pole lessons, got deeper into yoga & meditation, bounced back, fell down again, took a new lease of life, got a playstation 4, took up cat-sitting, got addicted to an online game, went on holiday with a friend for the first time, ultimately started enjoying life again with friends and family and getting out of the house more, made plans for travelling, visited London the most times in one year in my life ever, qualified as a complementary therapist.
And then I lost my best fucking friend to suicide.
I've also lost many other relationships during this time, but nothing was as mentally debilitating as losing a best friend. Death is final. Losing someone through a breakup you can always have hope you'll see them again (unless you're like me and when it's done you're done).
Love is not a concept for me, or at least not right now. I haven't encountered anyone that I'm 'good with' and as I'm travelling about it's become even more difficult; I am simply not in one place long enough to form a long term connection, or the nature of hostel work means that people I click with come and go far too quickly. When you become easily attached that is dangerous.. but, I've been 'single' for over a year now, a decision that needed to be made after jumping from relationship to relationship and ultimately repeating the same patterns was not helping. I enjoy my own company and I find I have a lot more platonic love for those around me. I can devote time to everyone, rather than just wanting to devote it to one person.
I've learnt to be more patient with myself as well and even with others. A language barrier with colleagues means more repetition (a pet hate of mine) but I've learnt to do it graciously.
Upon recommendation from my amazing therapist, I had the good fortune to meet, I went to a buddhist retreat centre located in Scotland and met many great people there. I took refuge last Easter and set some principles for myself to honour. Although not 'binding', it has been great to have a set of ethics that I can focus on for my life.
I attended my first proper music festival last year and had probably the best time in a long time with new and old friends. I get excited thinking about it and cannot wait to go again this year (travel schedule and money permitting). I saw many of my favourite bands perform live over multiple times and had the good fortune to hang out with them after shows and make new contacts. Highlight was definitely Nicholas Allbrook giving me a massive hug and empathising with me when I briefly touched on the pain of losing a dear friend..
and about that experience... it's been the weirdest, craziest and most difficult (but not?) experience of my life.. I'm still constructing words to express this so any more elaboration will have to wait. But I will say, nothing will prepare you for it and every person is truly unique in that sense.
Everything. In its right place.
And a lot has happened since then, I wouldn't even know how to start collating all the information I've gathered, gleamed and grown through. I think writing a daily/regular blog of thoughts might have even helped at parts of my life as my laptop and home were littered with late-night typing and frantic scribbles, but with so many options of ways to document ones life the choices becoming overwhelming, or you start on one website, trial another and ultimately end up not doing any of them. Instagram is probably the best platform for reaching out to people, as everybody loves pictures with small explanations. And with everybody doing the same things out there it's hard to come up with a new concept that anyone would be interested in,
But I guess my goal is the same; to help people. In whatever shape or form, and whether it's many or few. I just wanted to spread experiences and possibly help to people that are struggling and also to extend that help beyond people and for animals too. I'm currently writing this from a cat rescue shelter located in Inawashiro (Fukushima prefecture; and no, I'm not about to become irradiated).
Before that.. I lived briefly in China, came home and moved into a place by myself with my cat Audrey, worked in a High-raw Organic Vegan cafe, started a qualification in complementary therapies, travelled to Vietnam, got a job in a bar, started to become unhappy, completely lost it again, had therapy, started pole lessons, got deeper into yoga & meditation, bounced back, fell down again, took a new lease of life, got a playstation 4, took up cat-sitting, got addicted to an online game, went on holiday with a friend for the first time, ultimately started enjoying life again with friends and family and getting out of the house more, made plans for travelling, visited London the most times in one year in my life ever, qualified as a complementary therapist.
And then I lost my best fucking friend to suicide.
I've also lost many other relationships during this time, but nothing was as mentally debilitating as losing a best friend. Death is final. Losing someone through a breakup you can always have hope you'll see them again (unless you're like me and when it's done you're done).
Love is not a concept for me, or at least not right now. I haven't encountered anyone that I'm 'good with' and as I'm travelling about it's become even more difficult; I am simply not in one place long enough to form a long term connection, or the nature of hostel work means that people I click with come and go far too quickly. When you become easily attached that is dangerous.. but, I've been 'single' for over a year now, a decision that needed to be made after jumping from relationship to relationship and ultimately repeating the same patterns was not helping. I enjoy my own company and I find I have a lot more platonic love for those around me. I can devote time to everyone, rather than just wanting to devote it to one person.
I've learnt to be more patient with myself as well and even with others. A language barrier with colleagues means more repetition (a pet hate of mine) but I've learnt to do it graciously.
Upon recommendation from my amazing therapist, I had the good fortune to meet, I went to a buddhist retreat centre located in Scotland and met many great people there. I took refuge last Easter and set some principles for myself to honour. Although not 'binding', it has been great to have a set of ethics that I can focus on for my life.
I attended my first proper music festival last year and had probably the best time in a long time with new and old friends. I get excited thinking about it and cannot wait to go again this year (travel schedule and money permitting). I saw many of my favourite bands perform live over multiple times and had the good fortune to hang out with them after shows and make new contacts. Highlight was definitely Nicholas Allbrook giving me a massive hug and empathising with me when I briefly touched on the pain of losing a dear friend..
and about that experience... it's been the weirdest, craziest and most difficult (but not?) experience of my life.. I'm still constructing words to express this so any more elaboration will have to wait. But I will say, nothing will prepare you for it and every person is truly unique in that sense.
Everything. In its right place.
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